Monday, February 28, 2011

I'm Leaving

I leave for NY in a couple of hours.  Yes, I was just there last month.  Yes, it feels like I was just there too.  When people hear that I travel for work, they usually ask "Is that hard?"  Women and men of all ages ask the question, it's not like anyone discriminates.  It used to bother me, but now I guess I'm just so used to it.  I say "of course it's hard."  It's not like I actually want to leave my family, spend nights away from them and yes, it can be a burden.  But I have the knack of feeling myself with guilt and dread more than anyone could do for me.  I have thoughts that I don't even like to verbalize lest they manifest themselves into reality.  Thoughts of plane crashes and kids breaking arms when I am away.  See, twisted, right?  Friends, you don't ever have to worry that I don't feel this burden on my own, because I do.  But it's something that I signed up for, and I strongly believe that when you make your own choices, you have to live with them and moan and complain as little as possible.

I notice that the anticipation of leaving is always worse than the actual leaving.  Once I am there I settle into a routine of work, dinner, walk, observe, sleep.  Before I know it it's time to come home.  I try to keep myself busy after work and I try to enjoy myself.  I guess I could sit in my hotel room and wallow in my guilt, but that's no good for anyone.  On my last trip, after dinner it started to snow, really hard.  So I sat outside my hotel and played around with my camera.  I took shots of what I saw and I sort of like how they came out, with no flash, just the warm glow of the city lights.  I for some reason was fascinated with people walking through the snow. 
This girl was not prepared at all for the snow storm.  You should have heard her howling about those pretty little oxford heels.  I sort of felt bad for her.  Just sort of.  I myself was wearing my trusty white Sorels ;)
And this guy with his Gucci loafers.  Yes, they were Guccis.  See how he's trying not to fully plant his heels in the ground.  I could not date that guy.  Or marry him.
Now this group of young kids were a lot more well prepared, all the girls wearing their Hunter Wellies. 
Here's me :)
Oh and this guy works at the hotel and he's so nice.  He recognizes me now after going there a few times.  See how he's smiling for the camera?
I started to truly freeze my tail off so I went upstairs and these were taken from my room on the 8th floor.
Again, I was fascinated with the foot prints. 
When I woke up the next morning Central Park had received 19 inches of snow and this is what it looked like outside of my window.
I literally gasped when I looked around. 
Snow looks so different all over a city as opposed to in the countryside.  It has its own kind of beauty.
Please say a prayer for me friends.  I never used to be afraid to fly until I had kids.  But those kids have a way of making you realize just how beautiful and precious life is.  Have a great day everyone and I'll see you when I touch down 3000 miles away.

8 comments:

  1. Your blog is really cute!! I like it!
    Follow me? I'd be very happy if you do it!
    thank you so much!
    www.cipollainspiration.blogspot.com

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  2. ok saying a prayer for you today. god's got you and your family in his more than capable hands whether you're one block from home or a country length away. i know you know, but it always helps to see it in black & white. :)

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  3. Oh wow, you were there for snowpacolypse!

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  4. I don't fly often, but I share your anxieties every time I do.

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  5. I have always been an anxious person. Having kids just put me in overdrive!

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  6. I hope your trip goes by very quickly for you AND your family's sake. Love the footprint pictures... sounds like something I'd do if left alone in a hotel room. ;o)

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  7. Ohh, I liked all those snow pics. Eat some yummy food while your gone sweetie. Looking forward to getting together when you return.

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  8. between your twitter updates and your blog posts, just know: i was thinking of you yesterday! trying to strike this balance between life and work is hard -- especially when both fill up different parts of you. just breathe; take one day at a time. you have an incredible support system; your children are loved and well cared for, and so are you! :)

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