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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Cautiously Optimistic

Oh my friends where oh where to begin?
Be forewarned that this post may wander a bit.

This blog has been an extension of me for the past year and it has seen me through probably the most challenging and unsettled year of my life.  You see, in the past year, I've gone from not working part time at a company I once loved but grew to hate, to working part time for my husband, to buying a house, to backing out of a house, to buying another house that I didn't particularly love, to a nightmare of an escrow that put emotional strain on us for a time, to deciding to remodel, to deciding not to remodel, to considering to move again, to now also taking a full time job.  Was the last sentence a roller coaster for you?  Imagine how I've felt living it.

Did you catch that last part of the sentence?  I'll say it again, I'm going back to work.  I'm cautiously optimistic about it.  I had planned on writing  a separate post defending my actions, making this grand announcement about how much I've thought it through and we felt this was the right decision for our family, and yada-yada-yada.  But you know what, all anyone needs to know is that after much soul searching, me and my family are at peace with the decision.  If you would like to leave words of encouragement and congrats, please do so, as I will willingly and lovingly accept them.  If not, then please don't.  A fantastic opportunity plopped itself into my lap recently, and so I will be working at a cool little clothing company as an Account Manager.  Basically, I'll be selling the clothes to the buyers of major department stores.  I've done it before at the previous company I worked at, and I loved it.  It was hands down the most fulfilling and exciting role I had.  I'm excited to see where this opportunity takes me and my family.  If you have any questions about this new role, please shoot me an email and I'll try to answer them as honestly as I can!  For instance if you are concerned that my children are going to be left to be raised by wolves, and want to know how we're going to handle childcare, I can answer you offline.  If you want to know how I am going to get dinner on the table, I will probably tell you that it's not really your concern. 

So where does this leave the other things in my life?  Well for starters, I will be closing down my Etsy shop indefinitely.  If anything what this past year has taught me is that I am very good and content when I am focused on 1-2 things.  I am not good when I am all over the place.  I will continue to sew for my children and make gifts here and there, but the demands of the shop are just completely unrealistic at this time. 

I would like to keep the blog going, although not at its current pace.  I think it would be fun to somehow incorporate my work life and the fashion world into the blog a bit more, but in an honest and genuine way.  I'm going to have to think about it.  I will always love to cook, eat, drink wine and take pictures, that will never change.  I will continue to share my life with my family and the occasional recipe here and there, but really we'll just have to see. 

For a period of time in the past 6 months I have seen this blog as a bit of a burden.  A burden in the sense that I was constantly thinking about how I could make it successful.  Increase readership, followers, write content that was going to get comments, show how crafty I could be, post amazing pictures, and on and on.   I've done a lot of soul searching this past year, and I've even started to see a life coach, and what I have learned about myself is that I've dealt with the upheaval and tragedy in my life by being successful.  First in school, then in my career, then as being a mother.  When I stopped getting a real paycheck (and the hubs doesn't pay me), this world of blogging became something for me to strive to be successful at.  And it is friggin' exhausting folks!  I really don't know how these mega bloggers do it.  In the past couple of weeks I can honestly say I've let go of so much of that and it is liberating.  If people read along then great, but if not, oh well.  I will write what I feel compelled to write and tell my story and share our lives in the most honest and real way possible.

You may be wondering what a life coach is and how it's different than a therapist?  Well her answer is; a therapist has you look in your past and work through it so you can live a better present and future life.  A life coach has you imagine what you want your future to look like, and guides you to what you can do in your present to get that future.  Sounds pretty crazy huh?  It's okay, I know it does.  But after one session I have already started to see a change in my outlook.  She is also a Believer so we can talk through things in terms of how they relate to my spiritual growth with God.

In terms of sharing what I learn in my life coach sessions?  I may or may not.  I tend to be the queen of too much information, and so I will have to make sure I censor myself.  I could share about tragedy and turmoil that has been in my life, because if I've learned anything, it's that the blogging world loves a good tragedy.  Some bloggers share their tragedies in a way that is touching, fearless and joyous.  Some do it in a way that makes it seem like they're capitalizing on it.  I think I better just stick to keeping my mouth shut and focus on the future and the positive.  I'm ready to do that.  We have a new congregation we are attending and are enjoying, I got me a new Bible that I look forward to marking up with pen and highlighter, my husband's business is chugging along and I am open to see what the future brings us.  Thanks for coming along with me.

God Bless.

20 comments:

  1. Congratulations Andrea! I don't see any negatives about you taking a great job that you are so passionate about! Yes, it is challenging having both parents work full-time, but many people do it (myself included) and the kids are just fine. And some days you just throw cooking to the wind and pick up take-out!! I can't wait to hear about your new adventures, the job sounds awesome!

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  2. al the best to you and take it a day at a time girlfriend! I know you will do what is right for you and your family. I will be following your new adventures....

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  3. gah. this makes me sad that i didn't find you sooner. not that i remember how i found you in the first place. ha!
    i could have written that post.

    blogging is exhausting. i often wonder why i do it. why i want anyone to comment. like i'm some sort of desperate person longing for a pat on the back. GOOD JOB, little woman!! pathetic. i know.

    i too work for my hubs (i realize this is no long the case for you) and lemme just say, sleeping with the boss is highly overrated!

    good luck on your new venture.

    my kids were raised by wolves and lived to tell about it.

    go, YOU!!

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  4. I hope in no way you take any negative spin to this, because in every possible way I mean it to be complimentary. This is my absolute favorite post that you have done on this blog, to date. I wish you the very best of luck in your new venture! Remember, no one knows you like you do - and life is all about self awareness and going with it! xoxo Shan

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  5. Andrea, congrats on a job that's Taylor-made for you, ha ha. Seriously, it all sounds great!

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  6. i think it is wonderful that you were given the opportunity to do something that you love. what an excellent role model for your children! i'm so sorry that blogging has been a burden for you and i firmly believe that there is enough um, stuff shall we say to deal with in this world that there is no reason to add undo burden into our lives. take care of yourself and your sweet family!

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  7. WOW!!! I am happy for you! To know what you love to do, and to have an opportunity jump out and grab you sounds like a little bit of a miracle. I was a working mom until my youngest was 4 mos. old, and my kids were in no way neglected or deprived, so don't even worry about being judged by others. You know what works for you and your family, and I wish you the best! Hope to see you at church tomorrow. I'll be there after missing the last few weeks due to vacations, etc.

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  8. Andrea, I really think everything in life happens for a reason. The wonderful opportunity happened to challenge you at the "right" time. I hope it fulfills you, challenges you, gratifies you, and everything falls into place around it. For your house move... Good luck with that! That is stressful too. Find the location that you love, your children can enjoy, and that you will be happy with for the long term (unless you want to move again in another year or two! ;)). I loved meeting you and your wonderful children! It absolutely confirmed that "we" are raising our children to be outstanding adults! :)

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  9. Andrea - Congrats on the new job. I struggle with the whole work/don't work issue too. It sounds like this will be a great opportunity for you and YOU know what is best for YOU! Blogging is a bit of a slippery slope. It is hard not to get too wrapped up in it all. I hope you find the right BALANCE for you! :D
    Hugs!

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  10. Andrea,
    Congratulations on your new journey. It is the perfect job for you since it is in an industry you love and are passionate about. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and eventually it all works out. I am blessed that I met you and value our friendship. Good luck with the new gig!

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  11. Good for you for following your heart. Go for it! Enjoy this next chapter in your life with your new job. I'm on the fence about returning to work and I'm excited to find out how it goes for you. Best wishes!

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  12. thank you everyone for the sweet words of encouragement. This was not an easy decision for us to make, and I didn't come to it lightly. I ask for any extra prayers you have for a smooth transition for me back to work, for all of us. And I am not quitting this blog by any means! Just will be posting a bit less; maybe 2-3 times a week as opposed to 4-5 :) Thanks again!

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  13. Congratulations, Andrea! I know first-hand that you will do an AWESOME job in your new position. Just wanted you to know that I have loved reading your blog - you have definitely been successful in showing your crafty talents and what a wonderful mother you are. It has been very inspirational! Best of luck to you.

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  14. congratulations! my prayers are with you and your family in this time of transition.
    thank you for your transparency and honesty.

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  15. You know what I think already, but I'll say it again. Yay! I know you're going to do what's best for you and your family and there ya go. Change is good. I woiuldn't be too sure about putting off the blog. There's going to be tons of stuff you're going to want to share about your new job...just wait and see! Not to mention fab playgrounds and lollipops!!
    xoxo

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  16. Andrea, I am not an "official" follower of your blog, but I love to read it regularly. I am a working mom, so I can understand how difficult a decision it would be to decide to go back to work. I truly wish you the best of luck in your new job, it really sounds exciting! I really believe that every family is different and needs different things to run well and be happy. If going back to work is what will be best for you and your family, then more power to you!! To each their own. :) I look forward to hearing about your future successes. :) Good luck!!!

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  17. Congratulations on a new adventure! Hearing about others willing to take leaps of faith inspires me to leap, too. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers as you all adjust to this new, exciting chapter!

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  18. Andrea, congratulations. I wish you the best of luck & fulfillment in your new job.

    God Bless,
    Tonia

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  19. Andrea - don't forget to sign up for my Gooseberry Patch cookbook giveaway...

    http://thehillbillychicks.blogspot.com/2010/07/so-much-to-doand-giveaway.html

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  20. Yay, so glad to hear you took the job! I'm sure you'll love it and kick major booty.

    As for the blog, please know it's possible to have a full time job and blog, too! You just have to set expectations. You probably started the blog because it was a fun outlet for yourself, right?! You just need to get back to that place! Keep comparison and competition at bay and you'll begin to enjoy it once again! : )

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I read and appreciate every single one. If you enable your email address I'd love to respond :)

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