I Was Going to Write About Nail Polish...

Do you ever ponder the reasons God puts different options, paths, choices in front of you?  Of course you do, right?

For months now I have wondered, debated with my husband why, out of the blue, a job was literally just dropped in my lap.  When I decided to take that job I somehow was able to weave together a belief that God had presented it to me as an opportunity to grab a hold of some semblance of control back in my life, to give me an opportunity to get ahead financially.  With so many struggling, I surely could not look a gift horse in the mouth, so I accepted.

It never quite felt right from the beginning, as you've seen me struggle on occasion.  But I moved on and forward because that's what I was raised to do.

But recently, call it what you will, there were so many signs that I could no longer ignore.  A sermon at church, a chapter in a book, a song on the radio, a blog post.  There was a reason I was being moved so much by these everyday occurrences, everyday parts of our lives.  It was because He was trying to tell me something I knew deep down inside, but I had to come to it in my own time.

The time was yesterday.  I would love to share more details about the whys and my journey to get to a decision, but I think it would be best to wait a bit.   

But for now I just wanted to share that bit of news.  I was going to write about nail polish this morning, but somehow it seemed more appropriate to write this instead.

Last night as I got home and Art and I celebrated a bit, he said to me, "You know, maybe all along God was giving you this job not as a financial opportunity, but as a test of temptation, and to teach you to not be so worried about money."  Yes, I guess so, or conversely some could say that it was the devil tempting me.

But I choose to look at it in a different light.  I don't know if I really believe in those sort of tests, I am not a conventional Christian I guess.  My faith is growing and has grown so much in the last year, but it is still a work in progress and I am still, at the tender age of almost 35, developing the platform that build my belief system.  But for now I choose to believe that God is always good.  I choose to believe that He gave me this experience as an opportunity to show me what I want in life, what is truly important, what I really can extract joy from.  Is it in a fancy job that I can be prideful in?  Is it in the added security of a second income?  Maybe someday.  But not now.  Now, I know where I belong and I know where I want to be.