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Thursday, March 10, 2011

I Was Going to Write About Nail Polish...

Do you ever ponder the reasons God puts different options, paths, choices in front of you?  Of course you do, right?

For months now I have wondered, debated with my husband why, out of the blue, a job was literally just dropped in my lap.  When I decided to take that job I somehow was able to weave together a belief that God had presented it to me as an opportunity to grab a hold of some semblance of control back in my life, to give me an opportunity to get ahead financially.  With so many struggling, I surely could not look a gift horse in the mouth, so I accepted.

It never quite felt right from the beginning, as you've seen me struggle on occasion.  But I moved on and forward because that's what I was raised to do.

But recently, call it what you will, there were so many signs that I could no longer ignore.  A sermon at church, a chapter in a book, a song on the radio, a blog post.  There was a reason I was being moved so much by these everyday occurrences, everyday parts of our lives.  It was because He was trying to tell me something I knew deep down inside, but I had to come to it in my own time.

The time was yesterday.  I would love to share more details about the whys and my journey to get to a decision, but I think it would be best to wait a bit.   

But for now I just wanted to share that bit of news.  I was going to write about nail polish this morning, but somehow it seemed more appropriate to write this instead.

Last night as I got home and Art and I celebrated a bit, he said to me, "You know, maybe all along God was giving you this job not as a financial opportunity, but as a test of temptation, and to teach you to not be so worried about money."  Yes, I guess so, or conversely some could say that it was the devil tempting me.

But I choose to look at it in a different light.  I don't know if I really believe in those sort of tests, I am not a conventional Christian I guess.  My faith is growing and has grown so much in the last year, but it is still a work in progress and I am still, at the tender age of almost 35, developing the platform that build my belief system.  But for now I choose to believe that God is always good.  I choose to believe that He gave me this experience as an opportunity to show me what I want in life, what is truly important, what I really can extract joy from.  Is it in a fancy job that I can be prideful in?  Is it in the added security of a second income?  Maybe someday.  But not now.  Now, I know where I belong and I know where I want to be.

21 comments:

  1. So excited you took the leap of faith and listened!! I just started reading your blog through the Blog Sugar info...(which I bought a ticket for and am so excited abt). Four years I was given a gift--a 3 hour a day teaching assignment which made the jump doable...not as scary with some income, doing what I love--spending more time with my own kids...but lately I've been thinking more about faith and really believing the Lord will provide. Not sure what this looks like yet--but when the signs all point to quitting, I'll need to obey and listen to Him!! Excited for you and glad you are peaceful with your decision!!

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  2. this is the best post i have read in weeks! i feel the same as you. God is always good, and giving you the opportunity to learn exactly where you want to be in your life right now is a huge, huge gift! and yay for you accepting!!!!! xoxo friend!!

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  3. Well crap, now I am crying! ;) I am so proud of you (not that you need my approval), but really, I am! You are strong and brave! And it sounds like we are at the same stage in our faith... growing and learning more each day.

    I look forward to hearing more about this journey. And I PRAY that some day I will be able to write a very similar post.

    You are amazing Andrea and an inspiration to SO many... I hope you can see that.

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  4. i couldn't help but smile as i read this post. even though we're at different life stages, your story sounds so similar to my own struggles with grad school (as you know!). isn't the burden lifted? isn't there such relief in knowing you tried, and maybe, maybe down the road something else will come along that fits, but for now... there is life to enjoy, and you get to enjoy it to its full? congrats, friend. so proud of you for trying and then for listening to your heart and to the One who leads you!

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  5. this is awesome!
    so happy for you, and your strength inspires me!
    praying for you as you enjoy this new chapter life!

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  6. Welcome to my world,muhahaha. Sorry, too many late nights blogging...

    Congrats!

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  7. So excited for you! This is exactly the post I should have written when I was working, but I pushed and pushed thinking I had to have the financially stability, but as you know our God is greater and his plans are not our plans. Thanks for sharing your lesson and letting us rejoice in your BIG news!

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  8. Oh, YES. Right on, Sister.

    Also? I'm almost 35, too. :) Like, in June. How bout you?

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  9. love this. i too am struggling and it hits home in the most personal and powerful way. this is important and awesome and necessary.
    thank you for sharing.

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  10. Wow. I'm impressed. I can't wait to hear the whole story. Don't leave us hanging for long.
    Seriously. Impressed.

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  11. And I left that comment under my hubby's name. Sorry.

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  12. How wonderful, Andrea. I often think wouldn't it be great to have a second income, if I went back to teaching. But, everytime I look into the eyes of our two, beautiful children, it just tears me apart to think of dropping them off so I can earn extra speding money. So happy that you have made your decision, and for now, know exactly where you want to be.

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  13. I am so happy for you and your family. I have struggled with this very much throughout my "stay at home mom" days. You will be so happy that you had this time with your children. I can't wait to hear more of the details too and follow your journey back to being where you want to be! Hugs

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  14. This happened to me a few years ago. A job fell into my lap and I thought it was an open door. However, from the moment is started, it felt wrong. I eventually let it go and realized that what I wanted was what I already had. Good for you!

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  15. yay! this is awesome. i love your teachable heart and your passion to work out your faith. you are inspiring to so many.

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  16. I am sure that was such a hard choice to make--both times.
    I always appreciated your honesty.
    I do again.
    Glad you listened to the Lord's prompting and may I say your husband rocks for supporting you to stay home again. It's not every man who would do that.
    Congrats on new beginnings.
    Love from,
    Greta

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  17. Congrats Andrea!!! I am sure that deep down you know you made the right decision. I had a stint back at work a year ago. I only lasted 10 months. It was so much harder than I ever realized. I am thankful for the stint though, I have made peace with my decision to be at home and am content with it.... I no longer spend my days dreaming about being back in the corporate world. YAY!!! :D

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