Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I Am Me

I have been a mother for 5 years now
Birthed two children
I know that is small potatoes for some, you know those women with 4+ kids
But it is more than one, and that says something
For the first 2 years being a mother to an {almost} perfect child, I thought I had it all figured out
Easy-peasy being a mom to a sweet baby girl that sleeps, eats, develops right on course
I said some seriously stupid things in those first 2 years
Gave out sleeping & eating advice to countless moms that didn't even ask for it
I get red just thinking about how much of a know-it-all I was

And then comes #2
Talk about a swift kick in reality's a$$
Care for a piece of humble pie anyone?
Mothers that are lucky enough to be blessed with two angel babies, you don't know what I'm talking about
But those with one of each (easy/difficult) know just what I mean

So now for the last 3 years I have questioned myself over and over
Should I be doing this or that?
Should I be mothering this way or that?
Am I sweet enough, patient enough, devoted enough?
Do I cook them the right meals, do I let them watch too much TV, do I read to them enough?
Should I hang myself by a rope because I am the worst mother in the world because I have spanked my children?
Even though I swore up and down that I would NEVER do that!
Do I raise my voice too much?
Okay let's be real honest, do I yell too much?

And you know what, I'm done.
I AM SO DONE playing these stupid games
The self doubt, the comparisons to other mothers
Sometimes I feel like I've traded cattiness in the showroom for cattiness on the playground benches 

No, I am not my neighbor down the street that never loses her cool
That is sweet as pie
That makes it look so easy you could die

I am Me
And I am all my children need
I can cook, I can sew them pj's, I can take them all over the city and show them amazing things
I have provided 2 bookcases overflowing with good reads
I am sweet enough, I give them hugs and kisses until they beg me to stop
I'm a little rough around the edges
A little harsh sometimes
But they will always know where they stand with me
I will not always coddle them and instead tell them to suck it up
Because life's gonna throw some pretty heavy stuff their way and they better be prepared
I am Me, and you are You and that's just the way God created us

Now enough about Me
Today I will call, not text, another mother that needs to hear that she is wonderful, amazing really
Tell her that one day her daughter will be grateful for the sacrifices she is making for her right now
I will write a note, not an email, to tell a friend how extraordinary she is even though she thinks she is very ordinary

Please, will you do the same?
We all need to be lifted up sometimes in these roles we hold as women, mothers, wives, daughters, friends
Have a blessed day my friends


  1. i love this!!!
    i only have one but when I think about having another I wonder "what if they're 'difficult'" gasp!
    i shudder to think about the "advice" i gave out as well.
    kudos to you for the phone call & the post!

  2. Love, love, lovey, love this post. Beautiful and true. I didn't get an easy one until number three. She is sort of lucky I even was brave enough to try again! But my firecrackers have humbled me, stretched me, grown me in so many ways. Happy Day to you!

  3. I love this .... Every single word. Every single one. I am tired of not feeling "good" enough. Instead I want to focus on the gifts that God equipped me with to parent these two girls. He chose us to be the mothers of our children and that gives me confidence... He knows what he is doing!

  4. Great post! I had the same realization about comparing awhile ago - and it's quite liberating. I find myself slipping into doubt here and there, but for the most part, it's helped out tons.

  5. Well done, Andrea!
    Remember--God has given us what HE wanted us to have. He calls us to live humbly and learn from what He has dealt out.
    It sounds like that is what you are doing.
    Love you friend.
    And thanks for actually CALLING.

  6. That's the key to mothering. And I think we all need to be reminded occasionally that we all are trying our best, even though we still spank or yell. And I loved the description "rough around the edges, but they know where the stand with me." That's me to a t.
    Enjoy this time. Before you know it, you'll be me, sending them off to college and wondering where all the time went.

  7. i think this is my fave post from you so far. you said it girl!

    you said the way we all feel and i'm so glad for that. there's power in honesty and truth and connection.
    if more of us shared our REAL life then i seriously think the mommy community could take over the world! i mean that in a good way. :)

  8. Oh, the mommy guilt...too often our best friends. Comparisons with other moms I don't think is necessarily so bad...part of self-reflection and trying to improve which is a good thing. But what gets most of us in trouble is not focusing on the GOOD, the POSITIVE, just as you've said.

    Kudos to you for making the time to acknowledge it in others. I love this post and your openness and honesty!

  9. Holy cow, I have so been struggling with this same thing lately. Oh, and I had the perfect first child and the stubborn, tantrum-throwing, nap refusing second child.

  10. If you saw my tweet the other day you know I feel 100% the same way. I get particularly miffed when I get potty training advice or looks about Nicholas not getting it--as if I am just sitting there watching Oprah and not trying hard enough. EACH CHILD IS DIFFERENT.

    As for advice? I was the worst offender. Total know it all.

  11. hi! i just recently found your blog and became a follower! i so love this post! i could have written the same things! thank you for sharing and reminding me that i am doing a good job! and that i am not the only one! hehe!

  12. I could never begin to tell you just how timely this was for me. I have been tossing the very same thoughts around in my head for the last few weeks. Thank you. Thank youu.

  13. Love this post..this is why I read blogs....when they are real and I can relate.And, jsut remember what is on ethe outside is sometimes a far cry from hat is really on the inside..... My favorite part was the part about calling another mom, not texting, not emailing, but calling or even face to face telling her, or writing a hand written note the old fashioned way. she is special in her own way and a good mother too!:) Life is full of ups and downs and surprises along the way. Hugs to you!

  14. Ditto ditto to all the comments Andrea! I know I have not been able to leave comments much lately - but I read all your posts - EVERY one!

    This was a winner - so much so that I might just print it and post it (on the family fridge of course!)

    All moms are amazing, simply because we are alllllways thinking about how to be a better mom. It is in our nature, the second our little ones are in the world. So don't be tough on yourself even if you do think that way. I figure accepting that is also part of the equation. =)

    And altho I wasn't blessed with "easy babe", I certainly understand the flip side of the difficult ones!!

    Cheers to you!

  15. WOW Andrea! This is such an honest post and I love that you shared. I can relate. While I don't think either of my little guys would be considered EASY, the harder of the two came first and maybe that was a good thing. Because I was so pleasantly surprised (still am, really!) while mothering my second that it all seemed so easy compared to the first.

    And, for what it's worth.... I think boys are generally harder than girls... at least in the early years!! Hang in there - YOU are doing a GREAT job!!!!!!!!
    HUGS :D

  16. What a great post. It could not have come at a better time for me. So uplifting!

    Thanks for putting what all of us moms feel into words.

  17. It is human nature to compare. It's turning off the judgements and self doubt that take time to learn how to do.
    Sneak into your little one's room at night and just listen to their are doing everything right. You are the best Mom for them.
    On another note...I'm still waiting for the "easy" child...maybe Baby C will be one?!?!?!?

  18. Actually, One is something too.

  19. Awesome. I'm a mom to one of each... and you probably already guessed that the easy child was my first baby. I struggle with these things too. Great post.


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