Friday's post, the part about looking forward to the start of school again. Because it's here, tomorrow, and last night tears were falling in my piles of unfolded towels and picnic blankets. TRUE. STORY.
Relationships between mothers and daughters take a bit more work I'm convinced, especially if the two are as alike as myself and Taylor. I just started realizing it. So often, and I don't think I'm alone, but I fall into this thinking that these kids of ours should just do what we ask them to do, no questions asked because "I said so." And while of course there has to be respect of parents, of rules, of requests, but does it always have to be doled out with an authoritarian discipline style. Do what I say or else? In this moment, today, I know that's not the case and I hope I can remember it often.
Let me back up a bit. My sweet Taylor has been a finger sucker since she was eleven weeks old. I remember the day well, actually the night well. I snuck into her room at night to give her a "dream feed" hoping to top her off for a bit and get a good stretch of sleep myself. I found her gloriously sucking on two of her fingers, happy and content as can be. I literally ran out of the room jumping up and down saying to Art "she's found her fingers, she's found her fingers!"
bitched and moaned about giving up one cup of coffee a day. I think I was expecting a little too much out of my 6 year old little girl, sadly I usually do. The defiance, the nasty attitude she'd displayed pretty much most of summer all came back to slap me in the face.
Funny thing is, since that talk of ours on Friday night, she's been a joy to be around and we've had a great few days together. I've learned that it's not just up to Taylor to define our relationship, but it's something I have to develop and mold with patience, gentleness, kindness, not just a demand that she act obedient and respectful because I said so.
Today's our last day together before she officially becomes a first grader. A friend of ours is taking Syd for a few hours and I plan to take Taylor out to lunch and to get ice cream. She's also requested polka dots be painted on her nails for the first day of school. I think we can manage that...